The wind howled outside Amy’s bedroom window. The heater had been out of fuel for months, but no one really noticed because it was the middle of spring. Summer was less than a month away. The cold air had rushed in from the northern states with a fierce intensity. Biting rain, chilling winds and perpetually gray skies made those days feel more like October than May.
When Tim flipped on the television at 3 am, he half expected to hear football news instead of baseball updates. He was feeling the cold, too. Pulling the easy chair a little closer to the fireplace, Tim sat down and watched the sitcom rerun without really seeing it. The cold was coming from everywhere, not just outside. The cold was coming from the bed where Amy slept. The cold was coming from his own heart.
Amy lay in bed knowing Tim was awake downstairs, wishing he would come back and hold her. She had called him out for doing something that hurt her. Why did she feel like it had done more harm than good? She had wanted him to stop pressuring her, but this had not been the intended effect. He had pulled so far away it was as if he didn’t even want to be in the same house as her.
Tim was hurting, too. Didn’t Amy even want to be with him anymore? Why would she put herself so off limits? Maybe she’s right, he thought. Maybe we should slow down. Maybe our values are coming to the surface after all this time and we should stop living this way unless we get married.
Amy was also having a conversation in her head. Why doesn’t he I am ready to be fully committed to him. I miss him when we’re like this. I want to feel him next to me. I want to feel the warmth and comfort of his body laying beside mine. I’m don’t want to pull away, I want to be closer.
Carrying on an internal conversation that should have been a dialog, they both lay awake for long hours. After finally sleeping, they awoke to have the same arguments all over again. The sun still hid behind the grey clouds, their hearts both blanketed in grey as well. The cold snap continued.